You purposely don't wash your hair so it can look greasy

You practice sneering in the mirror

Anyone who dare points out that he's just a book character gets a 3 hour speech (minimum) about the times he's come to you at night.

You try to get into a fight with the school bully just to get a hooked (and bent) nose

You don't go into the sunlight so your skin can turn pale

You wear black, even on the hottest of days

16 people that commented bad things about Snape has vanished in your basement.

Short-sighted people mistake you for a girl when they see you with your shoulder length hair (if you're male).

You have over 1000 Harry Potter image files... and around 95% of them have Snape in them in one way or another.

You dream of Snape... consecutively

You almost die trying to get pass a three-headed dog - your science experiment

Snape is the only man in your life

Your teachers can easily recognize your 'daydreaming about Snape' look in class

You cheer and howl when ever he's mentioned in the book

You've named all his sneers and people tell you, "That's lame!" you hit them with sneer number 31

You talk about just his soft, silky hair for at least... 5 hours.

You actually believe his hair is silky and not greasy

You write his name on your hand for good luck.

You get pissed at your Art teacher for saying 'black'

Your parents are giving you the 'Birds and the Bees' talk you tell them not to worry because you are saving yourself for Snape; and they eye you suspiciously.

When you first wake up in the morning, your first word is 'Snape'

You got your female teachers in love with Severus

You sit on the couch when your parents are out, take your life sized poster of Severus, and try to make out with it.

You actually drool when you see Alan Rickman as Snape.

You get your entire family hooked on Harry Potter, even the dogs sit still and stare at the books

You see the link that says 'Too Much Snape' and say "How could there ever be too much Snape?"

You chase every black dog you see because they remind you of Sirius.

You've started a new religion called 'Snape-ism'

You blow up the Science lab trying to make a love potion

You've read through every Too Much Snape, and haven't laughed.

You have copies of every 'You know you like Snape too much when...' list on the web and are marking off tasks as you accomplish them. (Nima)

You draw a Dark Mark on your forearm and snarl whenever someone asks you what it is. (Lady Mondegreen)

You name anything in your possession Severus. (Lady Mondegreen)

You insist on referring to Chemistry as 'Potions.' (Lady Mondegreen)

You assualt Alan Rickman and use this list as part of your insanity defense. (Lady Mondegreen)

You start calling your son Severus JR. (Blaze)

You write yourself into a fanfiction, as his love interest. (Anna)

You can't stop talking about him (Frog)

You make certain comparisons with certain teachers in your school (Syn: I do that! LOL!) (Frog)

You are on the internet night and day looking for anything Snape related (Dino Girl)

You start speaking in a calm, murderous voice to grab people's attention. (Vampire Cat)

You are always on this website (aww!) (Dino Girl)

You've highlighted every passage mentioning Snape in your (very well read) copies of the books. You, also, have several sets of these highlighted books; one for school/work, one for home, and one you keep with you at all times. (Cel)

You find that you're no longer taking notes for your REAL classes, but spend your time trying to figure out exactly what makes a good love potion. (Cel)

You write him love letters and spend hours working out how to find yourself an owl to get them to him. (Rachel)

You spend all night curled up in a ball in the garden, wearing black, crying "Snapey, my Snapey, you said you'd love me forever" because he won't reply to the letters you put in the mail addressed to "S. Snape, Hogwarts School, Great Britain" (Rachel)

You're reading this right now. (Streex)

You know you are nuts when you are an American and you search for 2 hours on the Net trying to find a version of the UK movie poster you can afford. When that fails you ask all your friends in the UK. In exchange you send them the US version. (Scaxel)

You ask your boyfriend to grow out his hair and die it black. You keep telling him he would look even sexier if he changed his entire wardrobe to all black. (Scaxel)

You think Snape can fall in love

You don't realize how ugly he is

You tell your husband, "You're sexy dear, but not as sexy as Snape. I'll always love you, but unfortunately I love Serveus more." (Callie)

You begin to enjoy treating people cruelly, even quoting Snape, and believe that, like Snape, you have your reasons... (Syn: LMAO! So true!) (Charlotte)

You get jealous when you hear rumors that Snape might have a love interest in later books. (Lisa)

Your friends all call you 'Snape.' (Mini Snape)

You walk down the street wearing black robes

You accidently call Snape look-a-like's 'Sevvie'

You build a page exclusively about him (Gee, who does that sound like?)

You kiss the poster of Snape before you go to sleep

You call your pet 'Severus'

You own the exact same wig Rickman wore when he played Snape

You twitch involuntarily whenever you hear the name 'Snape'

You got a Snape desktop theme with matching Snape screen buddies

You watch Titanic, you imagine yourself as Rose and Snape as Jack

Every night, you look out of your window to see if any star formations look like Snape

You dump your boyfriend as he made a small, but bad, remark about Snape

You love the color black, and paint your room black, and all your things are colored black...

You see Snape in a pizza

You hear his voice everywhere. (MiniSnape)

Even though u've got a cold, you're out of bed and looking at this site (what I'm doing!) (Harriet Potter)

You call your bedroom 'My Private Chambers' (Harriet Potter)

You beg to sleep in the basement, 'cos it's so much like the dungeons. (Harriet Potter)

You go into bookstores and media stores and look at every single thing to do with Harry Potter trying to see a picture of Snape, or even just read his name. (Callie)

You look up everythin to do with Snape or Rickman. (Callie)

You drool whenever you see or hear anything to do with Snape or Rickman. (Callie)

You rent every movie with Rickman in it so you can stare at him and pretend he's Snape. (Callie)

You imagine every cool or handsome character in every single movie or book to be Snape (I do this a lot!) (Syn: So do I!) (Callie)

You saw 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone' 7 times (more, if it was still in the theatres) and wished you would have had a remote so you could fast forward to the scenes with Snape... (Catherine)

All your computer passwords at work are Snape-related... (Catherine)

You'd find yourself alone and snapping at everyone. (Daphne)

You'd change your name, dress in black, pale your face and act like Alan. (Daphne)

You steal every Hermione/Snape fic and change Hermione's name with yours.

You've punched someone at least once for making fun of Snape.(heh, heh, guilty...3 times, heh, heh.) (Mini Snape)

You start carrying a photo of Alan as Snape in your purse so that he can be with you wherever you are... (I do this *shame* lol!) (Eleanor)

You hate everyone who looks like Harry Potter or his friend (Mandi)

You search all through the movie store trying to find every movie Alan Rickman has been in. (I've rented "Dogma" three times already.....). (Rachel)

Looking through a "you know your obsessed..." site, you realize you've done most of the things listed... (and are not ashamed). (Rachel)

You have an E-mail address with the word Snape in it somewhere (like mine: christina_snape@msn.com) (Christina Snape

You work in a highly respectable office, and you have a framed picture of Rickman as Snape on your desk right next to the one of your husband... and people you work with have stopped asking "who the heck is that guy?", because they got scared of your answer... (Leuce)

You started to Cook in Cauldrons rather than Pots and Pans (Rose)

You’ve got Prof. Snapes Pics. Everywhere (Rose)

You try to live like Prof.Snape (Rose)

You’ve considered of moving to England (Rose)

Your Wardrobe is containing more black, green and silver colors (Rose)

You tell People "I am a Slytherin and Proud of it" (Rose)

You’ve gotten some contacts so your eyes are as dark (Rose)

You’ve written poems and other stuff to and about Prof. Snape (Rose)

You’re recreating pics of Prof.Snape (Rose)

You’ve got songs dedicated to Prof.Snape (Rose)

You sing Love Songs (or which ever) to Prof.Snape (Rose)

You belong to at least 10-15 or more snape groups (Rose)

You've marked at least 10-20 or more snape webpages (Rose)

You've created your own website (Rose)

You've got your own website and have dedicated some space for Prof. Snape (Rose)

You’ve got several ID’s (Internet) that contains Snape's name (Rose)

You sew yourself some Clothes exactly like his (Rose)

You cover your bedroom door with Laura Freeman's Snape pictures, or with pictures of Snape from the movie, and kiss each one of them goodnight before going to bed (Finley)

You make a sign for your bedroom door saying, "Slytherin Girls' Dorm, Purebloods Only, Knock First Unless You are Professor Snape, Who Is Welcome Anytime" (Finley)

Your list of necessities in a future husband include 'hooked nose' and 'black hair' (Finley)

You auditioned for art school and brought your picture of Professor Snape that you had drawn almost exactly from the potions spread in Vanity Fair - and you got accepted! (Finley)

You sit by yourself and are sarcastic to everyone who comes your way, hoping that people will learn to appreciate the fact that you're only like that because you have no friends, you're lonely, you're misunderstood, there's more to you than people realize... (Finley)

You start talking about him to your family and friends like he's a real person, and they know him almost as well as you do by now (Finley)

You have ever written a fanfic about him (Finley)

You re-read the books so much that you have devised your own list of theories about him, and can explain in detail why each one is valid, citing direct quotes from the books. (Finley)

You wake up early, read about Snape, eat breakfast rather reluctantly, go back to reading about Snape until about three o'clock in the afternoon, get off the internet, take a bath, eat lunch, go back to reading about Snape until about eight, eat dinner, go back to reading about Snape, go to bed at two in the morning at the earliest, reluctantly, wake up... (Finley)

You're a substitute teacher, and during one particularly grueling assignment with one particularly unruly class, you finally end up spitting out, "FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!". (True story. It shut the kids up, too. Some of 'em even laughed!) (Morphia)

You attack people who look like Snape. (Free2bdivine3)

You dress up like a girl scout and stalk Alan Rickman day and night. (Free2bdivine3)

You slap the person that accidently calls Severus, "Snaps" (Done this to mom numerous times, LOL) (Babs)

(I've actually do this) You are walking down a busy sidewalk muttering to someone on the side of you and constantly blurting out, "SEVERUS! We're in public!" but there's no one beside you! (Babs)

You watch the movie and pause it when snape is on the screen. (Dobbie)

You dye your hair black and grow it just shorter than shoulder-length. Heh heh heh... (Voregan)

Your friends keep telling you to shut up whenever you say the words black, greasy, hair or sallow-skin because they know it will eventually lead to some discussion about him. (Voregan)

You have his phone number, so :P!!! (Syn: But does he even own a phone?) (Voregan)

You cover your notebook in hearts surrounding Sev's name. (I have done this to four notebooks!) (Emily/Emma)

You try to adjust your robes like he did in the class while repeating the lines about "ensnare the senses", and realize you aren't wearing robes... and you are in line at the bank... and they are eyeing you suspiciously.

You decide to get a total black Snape-like wardrobe together and travel to England with it. (Yeah, did that last Feb. )

You read an FF where Snape dies and go into mourning for days. (Cpalmer1)

You cite Snape's monologues when friends ask you something. Even if it has nothing to do at all with their questions... (Chickens Coup)

You camped outside of Blockbuster for 10 days just to rent the DVD, and jump to all the scenes that have Severus in them. (ZMystic1Z)

Everytime you see Snape onscreen you squeal in delight, flailing your arms. (ZMystic1Z)

You walk around the house wearing long black billowing robes going "swiisshh" everytime you move them around dramatically. (I only did it once...) (ZMystic1Z)

You mail countless submissions to Snape-based websites (guilty.) (ZMystic1Z)

You have gotten strange looks from your english teacher (who has a hooked nose and has a sarcastic attitude) because you've called him 'Professor Post' (or whatever) almost every day and didn't notice it.

Your parents think you're in love with a teacher at your school (from talking about him like he is) and yell at you when you say you think he's sexy. (Motleygreen)

You read a Fanfiction that revolves around Severus being gay and have nightmares for weeks. (Chelsi)

You learn to raise you left brow and annoy everybody by keeping doing it despite absence of any reason that could call for it. (Besnaped)

You think Harry could be removed from the Harry Potter books and the stories wouldn't lose anything. (Jordan D Ravenna)

You frantically search the web trying to find Alan Rickman's email address so you can tell him how much you love Snape. (Jordan D Ravenna)

If you succeed, you try to convince him to meet you wearing his Snape costume. (Jordan D Ravenna)

Your boyfriend is actually jealous because you can't stop talking about how hot Snape is. (Jordan D Ravenna)

You are not satisfied with the appearance of Snape in the movie, so you draw your own version of Snape when ever you have time. (Koorinoen)

You bought the action figure and carry it around with you and talk to it. (Sara)

Your parents brag about how much older Alan Rickman is. All you say is "He's not Alan, he's Snape!" (Emily M.)

You have a pillow and you named it Severus and you make out with it as if it were him! (Emily M.)

Being called a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff is the worst possible insult anyone could ever give you. (Dlarue2)

You have sudden urges to hurt Hermione, Minerva, and Lily for trying to steal your Sevi. (***eye twitches***) (Dlarue2)

Your friends know that Sevi's yours and yours alone and they have to ask for your consent if they want to put a Sev love interest in their fanfics. (Dlarue2)

You seriously consider getting a dark mark tattoo even though you have a morbid fear of pain and needles. (Chughes78)

You consider painting your house and decorating it in black, silver/grey and green (Chughes78)

Alan Rickman has a restraning order against you. (SD6380)

You and your sister get into fights over who Severus loves more, you or her.(He loves me more!!) (Anastasia)

While reading Snape Wouldn't Say you yell at the screen when you come upon one stating Severus is gay. (Anastasia)

Before buying anything - particularly clothing or furnishings - you ask yourself, "Would Severus like it?". If the answer is no, you frequently put it back. (Serena Snape)

When Wal-mart doesn't have the Snape action figure you wanted you make a rather elaborate, though a tad embarrassing, scene. (i.e. You fall to you're knees, shaking your fist at the sky, screaming "Damn you Wal-mart! Damn youuuu!") (Pixie Child)

You find yourself drawing pictures of a scowling Chibi-Snape being glomped by a deranged fangirl (resembling yourself of course) all over your homework. (Pixie Child)

Your teacher threatens to fail you if he/she finds anymore Chibi-Snape's lurking on the same page as said homework. ><;; (Pixie Child)

You failed Math because said teacher is a Snape oppressor, and just doesn't realize how absolutely irresistible your sexy little Potions Professor is. (Pixie Child)

You attempt to turn in a slash fanfiction you wrote (starring everyone's favorite Potions Master) for your creative writing project for English... And you now have detention. (Pixie Child)

You like bumping int opeople purposely so you can turn and scowl at them and bellow, "Five points from Gryffindor!" (Celeste)

You ALWAYS walk in a quick-paced, evil stride. (Celeste)

You buy a billowing black cape and stride around the apartment, trying to make it do that 'wooshing' thing. (Celeste)

You try to always speak in a deep, English accent just because it reminds you of Snapey. (Celeste)

The only RP you play is as Snape's love-interest, and havbe your own Snape-RPer as well ( ^_^ ) (Celeste)

You have various files about Snape with names such as 'Snape Slash Fics', 'Pictures of Snape scowling', 'Pictures of Snape looking at Harry like he's NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE' (This file is probably the biggest pic file I have...) and finally, 'People who dislike Snape' (aka people who MUST be terminated) (Celeste)

You've always been a Goth at heart, but as soon Snape came into the picture, it became a lifestyle. (Celeste)

You feel ashamed because you're not a Slytherin. ( u.u I'm a Ravenclaw...) (Celeste)

When you finally came to the realization that Snape doesn't exist... ( ::ducks the shoe that had been chucked at her by Jenn:: ) you decided to become a Rickmaniac since he's the next best thing ( accept maybe Colonel Tavington... ::ducks another shoe:: ) (Celeste)

You learned to sing that song Kate Winslet sang in 'Sense and Sensibility' that made Brandon (the guy who Alan Rickman played) fall in love with her. (Celeste)

Without knowing about your terrible obsession with Severus, your friends actually call you Ms. Snape ( ::beams proudly:: ) (Celeste)

You get in a hissy fit as soon as you send Syn your Too Much Snape's because you always think of a bunch more five seconds later. (Celeste)

You can think of more than ten "Too Much Snape" s that relate to you. (I'm in trouble...) (Celeste)

You have so much Snape paraphenalia in and on your car, your family and friends refer to it as the Snape Mobile. (Belladonna)

You violently curse the official Harry Potter website when the sorting hat dares sort you into a house other than Slytherin. (Belladonna)

You make a mess of the kitchen trying to make a homemade love potion. Your parents don't scold out of fear of your rambling, "Soon Snapey, you will be mine." (Belladonna)

You actually attempt to get a radio station to dedicate a song to "Severus Snape" (guilty!) (Severusina)

You call your Chemistry teacher Professor (Severusina)

You call his name into the fire, hoping his head will appear... (Severusina)

In your computer profile you have 'married to Severus' (Severusina)

You cry when someone suggests that Snape could die in future books (Severusina)

A hot date for you and your honey involves playing dolls; he plays Snape, you play Laura Croft. Woo-Hoo! No. Not really. But that really would be too much Snape... (SeventhSqueal)

You weed out all the red and gold from your wardrobe, and if you MUST wear red one day, you make sure to cancel it out with a lot of black clothing items (Ogalastar)

You were voted "most sarcastic" in your senior yearbook (it's true...) (Ogalastar)

You know what WIKTT stands for (Ogalastar)

Before reading Harry Potter, you could not raise one eyebrow. After reading Harry Potter, you sat in front of mirror one Saturday until you could. (Ogalastar)

Before Harry Potter, you constantly complained about the size of your nose and your pale skin. After Harry Potter, you try and get other people to make remarks about your 'hooked nose' and 'sallow skin,' so that you can sneer at them (a sneer on the outside to cover up the big grin on the inside) (Ogalastar)

You put all your bright colored clothing in the bottom of your drawers/back of your closet, so that if Snape ever comes in your room he won't make fun of your wardrobe. (Ogalastar)

You daydream about joining an evil cult so that you can betray them to Dumbledore and turn a spy, thereby creating a connection to 'Severus' so that he will have no choice but to fall in love with you while you are staying at Hogwarts for protection ...("Oh, Severus, you are the only one who understands what I am going through, let's go have sex!") (Ogalastar)

To get you in the mood now, you make your husband or boyfriend say: (in his most silkiest voice possible) "Miss [enter last name here], meet me in my private chambers now or I'll deduct 50 points from [enter house of your choice here], and you'll have detention for a week!" Oh and he has to sneer! (Sun)

You have taped a picture of Alan Rickman as Snape on the wall of your shower and your family now complains of you singing the same thing over and over in there: "Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, I'm hot for teacher!" (Sun)

Your final dying request is for your ashes to be sent to Alan Rickman with instructions for him to place the urn in his bedroom, facing his bed! (Sun)

Your husband or boyfriend actually gets jealous when you watch Harry Potter or any Alan Rickman movie for that matter! (Sun)

He is your secret 'imaginary' friend. When someone suggests 'imaginary' you take out your 'wand' and tell them that if he heard that... they wouldn't be breathing. (X Prosper)

You consider becoming an actress in time for the 7th movie (ehheheheh). (X Prosper)

While you're watching Snape on TV, you suddenly go up to it and kiss the screen where Snape's face is, trying to see how many kisses you can get in before the image fades and new scene comes on. (Kristina Burke-Herndon)

You make a Snape doll because the manufactured ones are rubbish. (Superwitch)

You record every scene with Snape from the movie onto a single VHS tape and call it the "Snape Tape" so that you don't have to fast forward the other parts of the movie to get to him. (Joyce)

You ask your boyfriend to get plastic sergury so he can have the looks of Snape (RedDwarf88)

Your roomate airbrushed you a license plate with a charactature of Snape and his name on it, and you put it on your car. (Jenn)

At your Birthday Party, you turn your home into Hogwarts, hold classes, and you are the Headmistress/master, and Potions Master, just because no one else could get it right. (SnapesLvr)

Your email address is snapeslovingwife@lovinsnape.com (not a real address)

You stick his picture all over your fridge. (Georgia)

You write a lovesick song about him (Georgia)

You try to con a record label into producing it. (Georgia)

You scream out his name during sex. (Georgia)

You throw a 'I love Severus' party for the sake of it (Georgia)

You secretly search the telephone book for a Severus Snape (Georgia)

You programmed your desktop to cycle through Snape pictures every minute. (Guilty! XD) (BevinKB)

Your Snape doll is the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night. (Guilty! XD) (BevinKB)

You've actually researched Alan Rickman's birthday astrology, he's a Picies and was born in the Year of the Fire Dog. (WHOO HOO! WE'RE COMPATABLE!) (BevinKB)

You tried getting a satellite picture of Alan Rickman's home. Hehehe... (BevinKB)

Whenever you are playing Dungeons and Dragons, all your characters have black hair, a hooked nose and are wizards. (Sannevanveen)

You take the long journey to Hogwarts just to see Snape (Bombshells01)

Unfortunately, you are not the gifted with the ability to lift one eyebrow or have the muscle in your eyebrows to learn how, so you get so pissed off about it, you find duct tape and tape your eye brow up. (Alan R Addict)