Somebody needs a tissue!!

Snape: *gritting teeth* How did you get that picture?!
Interviewer: We have our ways, Professor. What do you have to say about this blooper?
Snape: Nothing!! It could easily have happened to anyone else!!
Interviewer: Yes, but it happened to you. How do you feel about this revelation?
Snape: Shut up!!

Take #1 - Snape gives the class a lecture

Needless to say: uh oh, spaghettio!

Snape: O.o
Interviewer: What happened here?
Snape: Are you blind? Can you not see that my wig has fallen off?
Interviewer: Yes, but... I didn't know you wore a wig, Professor.
Snape: Neither did I...

Take #1 - Filch catches Snape and Quirrel outta bed

The turban talks.

Interviewer: How is this a blooper, Professor?
Snape: *folds arms* You know why
Interviewer: No, I don't.
Snape: O_o
Interviewer: Honest. I just got the pic from Syn
Snape: -_-' After I heard the Dark Lord's voice from Quirrel's turban, I...
Interviewer: Yees...?
Snape: *mumbling* ranoffscreaminglikeachild
Interviewer: That wasn't a clear explanation
Snape: That's all you're getting!!

Take #1 - Snape tells Harry off

Gas Attack!! Fart Master!!

Snape: *blushing* I don't have to put up with this! *getting up to leave*
Interviewer: I know your deepest secret!!
Snape: *coming back* What were you saying?
Interviewer: What do you have to say about this blooper?
Snape: Damn the curry I had that day!!

Take #1 - Snape's listening to Professor Dumbledore

Snape wants to be a millionnaire?

Interviewer: What have you got to say about this?
Snape: Grrr, one minute I was listening to Professor Dumbledore, the next I was on some sort of 'game show'.
Interviewer: Do you know how you got there?
Snape: No, but I'm sure Potter has something to do with it!
Interviewer: Are you sure?
Snape: Indeed
Interviewer: Is that your final answer?
Snape: Ye- Silence!
Interviewer: >.<